Let's Get Polizzical...Polizzical

I won't ever pretend to be vastly knowledgable when it comes to politics, whether local or international. I understand a fair bit about how our system works in the UK, and thanks to the wonders of the internet I have a fairly basic grasp of how the systems work in other countries, most notably the US of freakin' A, baby! Sorry...I got carried away there, much like most of the Americans I have been reading about lately. There's some kind of middle-of-the-term vote thingy going on over there. You may understand it better than I do, but as I understand it, it's a chance to re-jiggle the numbers of representatives from each side in the main decision-making place, so that American people can have some better chance of having their views expressed where it matters.

The only problem I see with this is that Americans seem to be, at least from an outside perspective, an incredibly divided culture. Those on the far left believe in assistance for the needy, freedom for all to do as they wish (within reason) and everyone holding hands and getting through this together. Those further to the right seem to believe in protecting their assets, maintaining more traditional moral standards and promoting independence.

So who has the correct view? Well, both of them. And to be honest, that's why I like the ole' US of A. They may have spurned our glorious rule (SHUSH! We don't talk about that) but all in all, the US seems like a good place to live. As a rule, people are generally free to do as they may, and the system, by and large, works in favour of the individual.

The problem with both sides being correct though, is that they ignore the common ground and start focussing on the differences in ideology their fellow voters are expressing. And one thing the yanks seem to do well, if popular media is to be believed, is to foam at the mouth, scream, wail and mercilessly insult each other if they have different opinions on, say, how the nation's healthcare is managed. Previously innocent words and phrases such as 'Republican', 'Socialist', 'Liberal' and 'Tea Party' are flung around with the full intention of cutting deeper than a jibe about yo momma. Brother turns on brother and instead of reasonable political debate and the graceful anonymity of the poll booth, we are left with images of placard waving mentalists seared onto our consciousness.

I worry a bit (not too much, mind) that our chums over the pond will never be able to live together peacefully. The nation still seems so young when you consider how many people still identify themselves so deeply with the geographical origin of immigrant family members from only a couple of generations ago. It's understandable that such a vast variety of different inherited cultural attitudes will lead to some very different opinions on how the country should be managed politically.

So what is to be done? Well, I have hopefully demonstrated a firm grasp on all of this politics business by now, so let me explain the options for dealing with this situation:

1) Carry on regardless. Keep on screaming at each other and spend at least half of your life being dissatisfied with the actions and opinions of whoever is in power. Engage in damning hyperbole to get your point across. "Bush is an idiot and a murderer" and "Obama is a communist muslamic" being recent examples that spring to mind.

2) Put the placard away, try to forget your witty and ascerbic put-downs and try to let each other vote in peace. You are all entitled to your own opinion, and that is what democracy is for. Stop trying to force the hand of your fellow countrymen/women. They will put a tick in whichever box they believe will benefit them the most, financially, spiritually, morally, whatever. It's their choice based upon the culmination of experiences in their life, and hollering at them shouldn't change that fact.

3) If you can't play nicely, we will have to separate you. We will slice the country in half from Rugby in North Dakota down to Corpus Christi in Texas. Let the red team have the left hand side, and the blue team can have the right hand side. Never talk to each other ever again. Some would argue that this was already done once, albeit in the perpendicular plane, and the result was Canada. You may take Hawaii on alternate weekends, and nobody wants to go to Alaska, so just forget about it.

4) Fight on the playground after school. Just have another civil war and stop frontin' so much. Put up or shut up. Smackdown or back down. It's your choice, pussies (I hope this doesn't count as inciting violence. Just as a disclaimer, I want to be clear that if you DID have a fight about it, it would be your choice).

Pick one. Or don't. It's not like I live there. Just one favour though - Please don't vote one of your tea-pot people in as President, for I fear that I may injure my face when I repeatedly slam it into the table. Those berks are like Sergeants in charge of the Bonkers Brigade.